


i want to tell you how much i love you

by espeons



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, sorry this is..... not great, title is from sea of love by cat power
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 16:07:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15644220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espeons/pseuds/espeons
Summary: lance visits keith after waking in the hospital.set post s7, in an attempt to remedy what the vld writers threw at us.not beta'd.





	i want to tell you how much i love you

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this is. a whole lot of nothing. i'll write something better next time

To say Lance had missed his family would be an egregious understatement. He's imagined just about every scenario that his mind could fathom––from how the reunion would go once he'd returned to what could have possibly occurred during his absence from Earth. No fantasy he had conjured in his head could have compared to the real thing. There is a warmth in his mother's arms that no fabrication could replicate.

When he wakes up in the hospital, he is graced with that warmth again, tenfold. As he stirs in the room's yellow light, stiff cotton sheets rumpled about him, his family jumps to action. His niece and nephew are in his arms, his aunts and uncles ruffle his hair and speak quickly, words of love and praise and pride. Lance's mother exudes pure sunshine as she looks at him with a fondness unparalleled by not a single star from any of the galaxies he's visited. _This_ , he thinks, _this_ is what it means to be home.

Eventually, the commotion settles. His family recognizes he may need some time to breathe and process what had happened. They file out of the room slowly, his mother being the last. She kisses his forehead and tells him they'll be waiting when he's ready, warm meal included. Earth has been newly liberated after all, and there's endless opportunities with the influx of alien foods and ingredients. This makes Lance pull a face, reminded of what the universe has offered Voltron so far. His mother laughs at this, and then she's gone.

Lance is alone again. There is an ache in his bones that penetrates deep and a heaviness in his heart that threatens to weigh him to the bed. Before he has time to contemplate this, a nurse and doctor enter after knocking. They run some checks on his vitals, inform him more on his condition, and ask a few more questions. They seem a bit off put by his silence. He's a bit surprised at himself as well, falling into bouts of silence was more of Keith's thing.

As soon as they finished their testing, the doctor and nurse leave. Lance is made aware once again of the feelings in his head and heart, with great unease. With so much to unpack, where is he even supposed to begin? Is there a protocol for getting your life back together after an alien race invades your home planet and threatens ruin to all that you know and love?

Legs slung over the side of the hospital bed, he runs his fingers through his hair. He feels pressed by urgency. Wondering about the status of the other pilots, he stands to his feet and steps into the hallway. The nurse from earlier is passing by.

"Uh, excuse me," he calls, voice tired, "Do you know what room K-Keith is in?" 

She quietly gestures to a door down the hall. Lance offers a nod and a quiet thank you.

Approaching with knots in his stomach, he freezes before knocking. Keith's mother could still be in there, and he knew how important she was to him. He didn't want Krolia to have a negative opinion of him for just barging in without consideration, but he knew in his heart he needed to see Keith. To see with his own eyes that Keith was alive and well. Deciding to gather his confidence, the door slides aside and Lance steps in. His intuition was correct––Krolia and Kolivan both sit near Keith.

Lance knows he has absolutely just intruded upon something he is not a part of. He feels like a stranger and resists the urge to turn tail wordlessly. Keith looks surprised, but the expression disappears quickly.

Lance starts frantically, "I'm sorry, I don't want to interrupt, I can-"

"It's okay, Lance," Keith responds, with a strange softness in his voice. Lance assumes his body has taken quite a beating as well. "Is everything alright?"

Lance isn't entirely sure how to respond. In his head, he hadn't gotten this far yet. _Why_ was he here? Why was his first instinct to visit Keith? He's well aware he could've stopped by Hunk or Allura or Pidge's room first. So why Keith?

"Ah, yeah, I was just.. I just wanted to see if you were awake yet. And I wanted to talk to you," Lance manages. The last part comes out much quieter than intended.

"Oh. Yeah. Sure," Keith mumbles, exchanging a glance with Krolia. She nods, and exits with Kolivan. Lance hopes she doesn't hold this against him.

Feet numb, Lance settles in one of the hospital chairs near where Keith is situated.

Silence overcomes both boys. It's not the unbearably awkward kind, thick enough to cut with a knife. Instead, it feels... Warm, almost.

When Lance looks up from his hands, he's totally and utterly unprepared for the sight in front of him. Keith is too close for comfort, smelling like soft cotton and musk. Dark hair messily sticking up endearingly under the head wrappings. A purple-ish scar caressing the stretch between Keith's jaw and cheek. The bags beneath his eyes tell a story of endurance and exhaustion. He's a bit paler than usual, but it makes no difference. He's still Keith.

The same Keith that Lance is very painfully in love with.

Lance is overcome with an unfamiliar feeling, and it aches. It aches in the spaces between his fingers and in the depths of his heart. He hates it.

“Lance? Hello?” Keith asks a bit sharper than before, eyes narrowed.

He’d been staring for only God knows how long. This mistake turns the tips of his ears red.

“Yeah, sorry,” Lance mumbles, looking at his hands again. Cracking his knuckles as he attempts to gather his words, Lance feels like an idiot all over again. This was so different from talking to Allura, or Romelle, or Nyma. He can’t feign confidence now.

“You did a good job, Keith,” he says, at last. There is no disguising the sheer tenderness of his voice. Lance feels vulnerable. Insecure. “You… You do a good job leading this team. You really do deserve to be our leader.”

“T-Thanks,” Keith responds. Lance can’t read him. Is he bashful? Is he annoyed that Lance is wasting his time with things he already knows? Is Lance just projecting his own feelings of inferiority?

Lance doesn’t get a chance to respond before Keith speaks again.

“I was worried. Before. While we were calling on our lions down here. You hadn’t responded for a while,” Keith swallows, “We were all worried something happened. But,” he pauses again, “we didn’t really get a chance to address it.”

Lance is immediately brought back to the moment. The fear almost overcomes him again as he remembers how lifeless Veronica’s weight felt in his arms, surrounded by Galra hostiles. Knuckles now white as he grips the hospital gown, Lance nods weakly.

“I thought I was going to die,” he laughs coldly. Lance’s walls are down. Aside from the humorless laugh, his words are genuine. He had truly assumed the last thing he’d see would be a Galra fleet ship running him down. He feels insecure all over again.

Softness overcomes Keith’s expression. It makes Lance feel strange again.

They’re both drifting into territory previously unknown. Lance had only been honest with his feelings of inferiority to Keith once before, which now felt like eons ago. Now, he’s letting himself be vulnerable again. Something In his heart tells him that it’s okay. Pretending all the time is _draining_.

“Lance?” Keith whispers, his hand finding a place on Lance’s shoulder.

A shaky inhale slips through Lance’s lips as he holds Keith’s eye contact. His palms feel sweaty. Keith’s hand is warm.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

Sorry?

The floor seems to fall out from under Lance. He hasn’t anticipated this. Time feels like it’s passing slower than usual.

Lance isn’t exactly sure what Keith is apologizing for, but he’s too tired to guess. Sometimes Keith could be really confusing, and this was certainly one of those times.

Keith chews at his bottom lip and removes his hand from Lance’s shoulder. Lance almost wishes he could take Keith’s hand and put it back. He feels pathetic. Since when has he been so needy? Sure, he’d always flirted with people all the time, but now things are different. Now he’s sitting here in this hospital room, next to the boy he loves most (despite months upon months of denial), with the weight of the world in his heart. He wishes he’d asked his mother for advice before seeing Keith.

“I’m sorry for how I’ve been treating you,” Keith whispers finally. His eyes are cloudy. “I… Being leader is scary. And stressful. It’s like I always have to be thinking ahead, because there are people whose lives are on the line. Because Voltron isn’t invincible. Because Kr–my mom is back. Because Shiro expects me to. I’m sorry for how harsh I’ve been. I,” he breathes out heavily, “I know you don’t deserve that. My own fears aren’t excuses. You’re a good person.”

Lance’s world is filled with incredible lightness. To be called a good person by Keith makes him feel warm all over. It wasn’t like Keith had complimented Lance’s appearance or confessed or anything, but Keith making a remark about Lance’s character felt… Deeply important. And an apology at that.

Lance doesn’t know when he started crying. He just knows one second he’s looking at Keith and then there’s two warm arms wrapped around his torso. He’s quiet when his shoulders shake and his chin wobbles. He’s quiet when he raises his arms to hold Keith tightly. He’s quiet when they finally pull apart.

The atmosphere feels fragile. Lance is afraid to speak. Things feel different, in the most basic of terms. Things _are_ different, Lance reminds himself. 

“Thanks,” Lance gushes. The warmth has found a home in his body, and he hopes it never leaves. He swipes at any stray tears remaining on his face. “Sorry I didn’t mean to… Fall apart like that.”

Keith’s lips curve into a small smile, and Lance finds himself doing the same. Lance knows he’s probably blushing right now, but he doesn’t care. What matters is here and now, Keith is alive and safe and as beautiful as he was when Lance first laid eyes on him.

“Keith,” Lance says. Whether it’s a statement or question is unknown to both boys.

“I love you.”

As soon as he says the words, Lance _almost_ wishes he could withdraw them. What kind of an idiot makes a confession in the middle of a hospital room? And “I love you,” right off the bat, like that? Lance is scared. More afraid than before. Keith can reject him. Keith can laugh in his face. Keith can kick him out right now. Lance is a fool. He feels cold again.

“I know,” Keith whispers, “I love you too.”

Keith smiles big.

The warmth returns to Lance. The fear melts like ice under a blazing sun. Lance is thankful the universe has let them make it this far. He hopes it’ll be kind enough to give them a little longer.

There was an Earth to rebuild, after all, and intergalactic peace to uphold.

As Lance reaches gently to interlace Keith’s fingers with his, he thinks about how lucky he is to be himself.


End file.
